Frequently Asked Questions  

 

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I want to be a part of this but it’s a lot of money.  How do I know this will be worth the money? 

 

Financial concerns are real. They are perhaps some of the most concrete challenges that we experience.  However, I have had a variety of experiences of feeling like I was financially challenged, and part of what has allowed me to get out of those times was investment in myself.  Perhaps coaching isn't the best option for you right now, but if it would just mean putting a little bit more money on a credit card knowing that you can pay it off over the course of a year, or if it means that maybe you take a little bit of money out of your savings account knowing that you can replace it over the course of a year or two, or if it means that maybe you don't go on vacation this year or maybe didn't go on vacation last year because of Covid and you can take some of that money that you saved and put it towards something like this-- that could pay dividends over the course of your entire life.  It could totally be worth it. 

 

I've also learned as a coach that financial investment is important as it's symbolic of the kind of energetic investment a client will make in this process.  If you think back on other investments you’ve made in this area of your life (a book that cost $20 or a weekend retreat that cost $300)  You likely got results that matched the investment you made.  Coaching is a large investment, not just of money but of time and energy.  But, if you really invest yourself, you will get results. Even if you’ve tried other things and not had results, this could be the thing that leads you to the life you want even if those things failed.  

 

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I’m afraid I’ll lose friends or connection to my family if I go on this journey.  

 

This is a very real fear and can happen as we grow in our faith and our experience of humanity.  A lot of times people in our lives cannot grow alongside us, and that's very painful. I've experienced this in my own life. I have lost friends because of the work that I do, and my desire to continue to grow in my spiritual life. I’ve had challenging moments with my parents and with family members because of the way I live my life. Ultimately, following your spiritual and sexual path is worth it because on the other end you become more of yourself. We all desire to feel like we are free to be our full selves in our relationships.  We desire for the people we’re in a relationship with to accept us even with our faults.  In that respect, the more you give yourself permission to be yourself, the more you're going to attract and retain the friends that really are the best people for you to be in a relationship with.  Yes, it can be a painful process but on the other end of it you will have better and more supportive friends. 

 

I’ve tried everything, and still feel stuck.  Why should I believe this will work?

 

Ready for a little tough love? I want you to you look at the things you’ve tried in the past.  What kind of investment did you make in those things?  Financial investment, time investment, spiritual investment, energetic investment, etc.  What I’ve found is that you get back what you put in.  So for example, if I spend $20 on a book in all likelihood I will get $20 of value back. If I’m really luck and really do everything to book offers, maybe I get $100 of value back.  Books can only change your life so much unless you also take action.  Even the best online courses can only take you so far unless you take action.

 

Part of what the coaching experience offers the accountability to actually make change.  It’s also wholly individualized.  It’s not a book or course that’s meant to serve hundreds or thousands of people. Coaching is personalized.  Your specific concerns and history are taken into account so that the results can be specific to you.  Additionally, because of the fact that it's so individual you can make a change so much faster.   With the accountability of meeting with somebody almost every week you also set yourself up for truly making the changes you want to make.  And if you get stuck, I’m just voxer text away ready to give you extra support.  The coaching process is practically fail-proof as long as you put in the work.

  

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I’m not sure I’ll have the time to do home assignments.  Can we just use the time on the calls?   

 

Time is a real concern for people. I don't recommend coaching unless you do have the time to commit to it. I've had lots of people reach out for Discovery calls and then we decide this isn't the right time.  I am committed to your success and I’d rather we wait to work together until you've got the space in your life to truly make the changes necessary.  

 

Sometimes we just need to be reminded that we can shift things around in our lives for a few months to free up the time necessary.  Things like getting a few extra hours of childcare or telling someone or a group in our lives that we need extra space.  Other times there's a big life change happening (you're moving; you’re about to have a baby; etc) if something like that's going on you may not have the time and the energy to devote to this right now, and that's okay.  If you’re in this category and know that now’s not the time, but you want to commit to this in the future and I can put you on my coaching waitlist. 

 

However if you really want these changes happen in your life within the next 5 months,commit to making the time.  You meet with me for an hour a week and usually there's an assignment that could take 30 minutes a day or an hour over the course of the week.  

 

Are you going to try to convince me that your version of sexual freedom or spirituality is the right one?  

 

One of the most important values I hold is that you are the expert of your own experience of sexuality and spirituality.  While I'm certainly an expert on the topics of spirituality and sexuality and I'm willing to own that, I’m not here to have you believe what I believe. The vision I hold for my clients is not for them to start to act like me, or do the things that I do, or believe the way that I believe, or practice things that I practice, but rather for each client to find the things that resonate most with them. Especially when you're coming from a Christian background, the last thing you need is someone telling you what you should be doing. What is most important both in your personal growth and in your spiritual growth is to have the space and the freedom to make choices about what you believe and what you desire. The space I provide is the space to have a conversation partner as you sort through those things.  And to have access to someone who might have some ideas that will be really attractive to you, but that you just weren't aware of before.

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What concerns do clients tend to have? 

 

I've had clients from a variety of different backgrounds I worked with clients who wanted to experience better orgasms. I've worked with several women who have experienced painful penetration or vaginismus. I have worked with former or current ministers from various denominations who just wanted more clarity in their lives and ministry around sexual ethics and the intersection of sexuality and spirituality. I've worked with people who are struggling in their relationships and want to have better conversations about sex with their partners. I’ve worked with clients to experience their own sex life with themselves even as they’re in relationship with another person (hint: the better sex you have by yourself, the better sex is with a partner).  I've also worked with people who desire to make sense of their Christianity in relationship to the ways in which they've grown spiritually and sexually.  I’ve help clients uncover their unique sexual ethic so that they can confidently date and explore their sexuality.  

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If I start working with a sex coach will all my thoughts be about sex? 

 

When you're in the process of growing a specific way that growth is going to enter your thoughts more often, but true sexual integration means that you are able to be a full human being of which your sexuality is simply one part. People often go through a period of “sexual freedom” where they do some “wild” things, that get judged by others.  There’s nothing wrong with this--after all we only know our boundaries by going beyond them.  But eventually, after you push past your boundaries you find a nice space to settle into that feels perfect fo you.

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